Sometimes we just get stuck into a repeating cycle of negative thinking. Unhelpful thoughts that quickly make us feel bad. It's a bit like having a sadistic neurologist rewiring bits of your brain. Then you wander around feeling terrible and wondering how the day got so bad.
If you're really unlucky you'll be staggered at how quickly a bad day became an awful week. But 'luck' has nothing to do with it. It's more about awareness. You can call it mindfulness or focusing. It's about noticing the difference between good and bad feelings and the thoughts that create them.
What's in this for you?
This article will give you the basics to 'step out' of the repeating cycle of particularly unhelpful thoughts, sensation or emotions. You'll become aware of how you're reacting to a situation. Furthermore, that will give you the opportunity to choose to react or do something else instead.
In my experience we usually feel bad (and worse) when we stop paying attention to how we respond to our daily experiences. Our thoughts, like judgements and our emotions are how we experience events in our lives. Sometimes events can be unpleasant and we get stuck in cycles of negative thinking. What do I mean by negative thinking? They're either thoughts we have that tell us to do something that we're unwilling or unable to do. As a result we get lousy emotions or feel 'dragged down.'
Then there are 'unhelpful thoughts.' These are the type of thoughts that are no longer useful. Except that they tell us we're making ourselves feel crap. But we tend to ignore that message because we learn to get lost in it's cycle of 'heavy' physical sensations and 'low' moods.
The good thing is they're on a kind of automatic loop. Just like on an mp3 player. The thing we want to do is press pause or stop on the loop. Then choose something else we prefer to listen to. This is how you can do it!
Before you do anything else, I want you to notice three things:
1. What are you thinking in this moment?
2. What kind of emotions are you having right now? (or how are you feeling?)
3. What kind of physical sensations are you aware of now?
Write them down in as much detail as you like. Notice any judgements you make on any of these three experiences. Are you automatically reacting to anything?
Trust me when I say it's really useful to be aware of what's taking place for you in this present moment.
Why?
I believe it helps us appreciate how thoughts affect emotions, affect our bodies. And how you may experience them as being connected in different ways. For example imagine someone has back pain. They repeatedly tell themselves about this pain (is their body not telling them enough already?) by describing how it'll prevent them enjoying themselves. In turn this makes them 'feel' worse. I'm not suggesting it's universal for everyone. But maybe there's a pattern to how some people react. And maybe we can learn to interrupt this pattern to create something more useful.
I feel more awareness of the present moment brings opportunities to accept what's happening (hey, it's happening...it is what it is) but also to create the space to get the best from it. Is there any point in endlessly moaning about back pain? I've met people who suffer chronic pain and endured years of surgery. They're not happy about it that's for sure. But they've taught themselves to enjoy many moments in life. They've learnt to avoid too much self pity (self pity for one of them led to more emotional upset, a poor diet and depression - surely that's something to avoid?).
So the simple exercise below is based upon Mindfulness. Yes, it's very popular at the moment. You've probably heard all about it. Maybe you're practising it regularly. And that's great. Please tell me what it's like for you in the comments below this post. I love to read about it and feel it's inspiring. I've read that Mindfulness has been used for hundreds of years by Buddhist practitioners. Is that a secret to longevity, do you think? Anyway...
How You Notice More of Yourself in this Moment
Sit quietly and comfortably. With both feet on the floor and your back upright if this posture is good for you. Give yourself this space in your day to relax. Just let your body really relax. Let it unfold into the place where you're sat, allowing yourself to feel much more comfortable in your own way, in your own time.
When you're ready to do so, stop. Stay seated for some moments while you are becoming aware of the sights and sounds in your surroundings. The important thing now is to note what you observed or discovered from the exercise. I'm often curious about just how much more of myself I become aware of. I know, it sounds kinda strange. But through repetition some useful but strange things become very normal. So, what did you find?
You may have discovered the way your thoughts, emotions and sensations respond to each other. Perhaps you found that you have the ability to 'step out' from their effects and observe them.
Feel free to make notes on whatever you noticed during the exercise. I also find it useful to highlight differences between what I noticed before I did this exercise and what I notice about myself afterwards.
A small note on Acceptance.
You may have discovered thoughts, emotions, sensations that concerned you in some way. If so, please find a practical solution to resolve any issues. If that means speak with a partner, child, friend, colleague or even consult with a medical practitioner then do so. It's good to accept what you're experiencing but the causes of them may not be so 'acceptable.' And that may mean changing the causes so you can experience something better instead.
I hope you find this of great benefit or useful in some way. Happy practising!
Give me your feedback!
Thanks for reading.
If you're really unlucky you'll be staggered at how quickly a bad day became an awful week. But 'luck' has nothing to do with it. It's more about awareness. You can call it mindfulness or focusing. It's about noticing the difference between good and bad feelings and the thoughts that create them.
What's in this for you?
This article will give you the basics to 'step out' of the repeating cycle of particularly unhelpful thoughts, sensation or emotions. You'll become aware of how you're reacting to a situation. Furthermore, that will give you the opportunity to choose to react or do something else instead.
In my experience we usually feel bad (and worse) when we stop paying attention to how we respond to our daily experiences. Our thoughts, like judgements and our emotions are how we experience events in our lives. Sometimes events can be unpleasant and we get stuck in cycles of negative thinking. What do I mean by negative thinking? They're either thoughts we have that tell us to do something that we're unwilling or unable to do. As a result we get lousy emotions or feel 'dragged down.'
Then there are 'unhelpful thoughts.' These are the type of thoughts that are no longer useful. Except that they tell us we're making ourselves feel crap. But we tend to ignore that message because we learn to get lost in it's cycle of 'heavy' physical sensations and 'low' moods.
The good thing is they're on a kind of automatic loop. Just like on an mp3 player. The thing we want to do is press pause or stop on the loop. Then choose something else we prefer to listen to. This is how you can do it!
Before you do anything else, I want you to notice three things:
1. What are you thinking in this moment?
2. What kind of emotions are you having right now? (or how are you feeling?)
3. What kind of physical sensations are you aware of now?
Write them down in as much detail as you like. Notice any judgements you make on any of these three experiences. Are you automatically reacting to anything?
Trust me when I say it's really useful to be aware of what's taking place for you in this present moment.
Why?
I believe it helps us appreciate how thoughts affect emotions, affect our bodies. And how you may experience them as being connected in different ways. For example imagine someone has back pain. They repeatedly tell themselves about this pain (is their body not telling them enough already?) by describing how it'll prevent them enjoying themselves. In turn this makes them 'feel' worse. I'm not suggesting it's universal for everyone. But maybe there's a pattern to how some people react. And maybe we can learn to interrupt this pattern to create something more useful.
I feel more awareness of the present moment brings opportunities to accept what's happening (hey, it's happening...it is what it is) but also to create the space to get the best from it. Is there any point in endlessly moaning about back pain? I've met people who suffer chronic pain and endured years of surgery. They're not happy about it that's for sure. But they've taught themselves to enjoy many moments in life. They've learnt to avoid too much self pity (self pity for one of them led to more emotional upset, a poor diet and depression - surely that's something to avoid?).
So the simple exercise below is based upon Mindfulness. Yes, it's very popular at the moment. You've probably heard all about it. Maybe you're practising it regularly. And that's great. Please tell me what it's like for you in the comments below this post. I love to read about it and feel it's inspiring. I've read that Mindfulness has been used for hundreds of years by Buddhist practitioners. Is that a secret to longevity, do you think? Anyway...
How You Notice More of Yourself in this Moment
Sit quietly and comfortably. With both feet on the floor and your back upright if this posture is good for you. Give yourself this space in your day to relax. Just let your body really relax. Let it unfold into the place where you're sat, allowing yourself to feel much more comfortable in your own way, in your own time.
- Now, sit quietly as if everything at this time has been taken care of. You don't have to do anything. Simply sit and observe. And in your own time, notice the thoughts you're having. Yes, even the ones about reading this exercise. It's OK to just observe them. Maybe you're curious about what you'll notice about your thoughts? And if you get distracted, simply observe your thoughts again. Remember to accept that whatever thoughts you have are a part of you at this time. You do not have to act on them or react to them. So, take it easy, giving yourself these moments to be even more comfortable.
- Now, notice what emotions you have at this moment. Don't expect extreme emotions like ecstasy or anger. Do be aware if you're feeling 'patience', 'curiousity', 'satisfaction' or it's opposite, 'happiness' or it's opposite. For the sake of this exercise we'll refer to them simply as emotions. So notice, in detail, whatever you can about your emotion or emotions at this time. Please be accepting of your emotions. As you know, they make up part who you are at this moment. So notice if you're allowing yourself to be accepting of this.
- Finally, observe any physical sensations in your body. You'll probably be aware of the sensations that 'speak' the loudest. Acknowledge it's there. Accept it. Accept that you are where you are, experiencing this. Notice any other sensations too. But don't act on them or react to them so long as you feel safe to just observe.
When you're ready to do so, stop. Stay seated for some moments while you are becoming aware of the sights and sounds in your surroundings. The important thing now is to note what you observed or discovered from the exercise. I'm often curious about just how much more of myself I become aware of. I know, it sounds kinda strange. But through repetition some useful but strange things become very normal. So, what did you find?
You may have discovered the way your thoughts, emotions and sensations respond to each other. Perhaps you found that you have the ability to 'step out' from their effects and observe them.
Feel free to make notes on whatever you noticed during the exercise. I also find it useful to highlight differences between what I noticed before I did this exercise and what I notice about myself afterwards.
A small note on Acceptance.
You may have discovered thoughts, emotions, sensations that concerned you in some way. If so, please find a practical solution to resolve any issues. If that means speak with a partner, child, friend, colleague or even consult with a medical practitioner then do so. It's good to accept what you're experiencing but the causes of them may not be so 'acceptable.' And that may mean changing the causes so you can experience something better instead.
I hope you find this of great benefit or useful in some way. Happy practising!
Give me your feedback!
Thanks for reading.
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